The following article was published by Larry Penar, the owner of Comfort Keepers. I have known Larry and his wife Cindy for many years. Comfort Keepers keeps by home and office cool during the summer and warm during the winter. His article warmed my soul. We could all use a lesson in forgiveness at one time or another.
Forgiveness Day is August 3rd
Focusing on the Power of Forgiveness
Sometimes finding forgiveness for someone that has wronged us can be exceedingly difficult. We seem to enjoy stories of other people overcoming mistreatment with love and forgiveness, but trying to implement it in our own lives reveals the difference between the idea of forgiveness and the reality of it.
It's been said that the real beneficiary of our forgiveness is us, rather than the one that wronged us, since the hatred and anger that must be kept in order to cling to unforgiveness can eat away at us over the long term. Here are some suggested steps to take to help find forgiveness.
- Realize that the hate you feel toward your adversary does not harm him or her in the slightest.
- Understand that the best revenge against your adversary is to live a successful and happy life. The next best revenge is to turn their evil into something good.
- Make a list of any good things that have emerged as a result of the awful experience.
- Look for the helpers - think back to the people who have helped you in your life, and practice what you have learned from them.
- Be patient with yourself as you try to navigate your way out of the past pain you've been clinging to. It isn't a quick process; you will make some missteps.
- Remember that the word "forgive" stems from the word "untie".
- Learn how to balance trust with wisdom. Forgiveness is not acceptance of wrong behavior, and it doesn't mean you should force yourself to trust someone that has wronged you, or even to ever interact with them again. If the person that wronged you is unrepentant, it would be foolish to put yourself in a place to be wronged again.
- Stop retelling "the story".
- Retrain your thinking. When the evil actions of your adversary come to mind, try sending a blessing his or her way instead of wishing them ill. The good and evil we send toward another often seems to have a rebounding effect.
- Prayer. If your belief system agrees with it, try asking the Man Upstairs for help to forgive.
Posted by www.LiveWellthy.org