Thank you for that dan. While we're taking a humor break on the Patch, I'd like to know if that's the elephant's trunk or tail in the picture above, and just what's going on there?

Gary, you've got a keen eye for detail, no pun intended.

Not sure what those two are doing in the picture, but i haven't seen a donkey and elephant in that position since my old boss left his web browser on some Brazilian beastiality site.

Never trust a donkey that's behind you, that's all i gotta say about that.

See, that's funny right there. And of course the basis of all humor must be a bit of truth.

Dan, can you submit weekly columns for Patch? I'd sure read them...

hey Vortex.. thanks for the props.

i offered to write a blog for Patch a while back, but they did not want any political blogs at all.. unless you admit to being a liberal. Which i'm not.

So, Dan take us through what Patch asked you and how they turned you down because you are not a liberal?

RB, i shouldn't have said it that way.. Patch just said they weren't interested in any political blogs, period.

Pretty sure they turned you down not because you aren't liberal, but because you have nothing interesting to say. Fat jokes, really? How....mature. And I love how you are already making excuses for Romney. Bit insecure, are we?

Dan, I'm not sure what happened with blogging, but you and other readers, whatever your political leanings, are welcome to blog on Patch about politics or another topic. You can sign up to blog via this link: evanston.patch.com/blog. Best of all, your posts will be published immediately.

@Sandra Sims; 'making excuses for Romney'.... Maybe it's because i know how people like Candy Crowley operate? Here we are in an important presidential debate and the two primaries are having a tense discussion about Libya and Candy Crowley jumps in to defend the President. The President uses her to 'one up' her opponent by asking "can you say that a little louder, Candy" (as if it wasn't heard the first time. we know it was)

Crowley obliges Obama by repeating herself to Romney.

Afterwards, Crowley admits she had the facts wrong. Romney was correct. Oops. She could. not. help. herself. from butting in. She is a knee jerk liberal. That's how her mind is wired.

Crowley reminds me of a replacement referee being asked to work the Super Bowl in which her son is involved and making a bad call against the team her son is playing.

The best referees are the ones you don't notice. We noticed Uncle Buck and a half on stage and will never forget how she tried to influence the result of the big game.

dan: Ms Crowley simply read from a transcript of the President's speech that Romney was referring to, as he lied about what the President said. Sorry if the truth hurts. Mr Romney wouldn;t know the truth it if bit him on the nose. And your continued references to her as "Uncle Buck and a half" are truly offensive. I would hope that the Patch would not allow people like you to blog on their site.

Sandra - she did not read the ENTIRE transcript - only a line that supposedly supports the president's lie. If you read the ENTIRE transcript, including the paragraph before, you will see Obama was talking either about the 9/11 attack in NYC or about attacks IN GENERAL, he did not label the specific attack a terrorist attack. That "interpretation" of his comments is further proven based upon subsequent comments by the administration in the following weeks.

RationalTht- His very next sentence is "Today we mourn four more Americans who represent the very best of the United States of America." That certainly is talking about Libya and not 9/11 or attacks in general (attacks in general don't mention body counts).

Please get out and vote for Romney and don't think it's a waste of time. I would love to see Illinois finally vote Republican-there has to be some smart people in Illinois, right?

Yes there are. And they are not fooled by Romney's lies.

The lies are all Obama-1. said he would cut the deficit-he doubled it. 2. Said he would get unemployment down to 5.4%-it's 7.8(was over 8% for most of his term. 3. Said he would create jobs if we approved his massive stimulus-he created some short term government jobs and wasted tax payer dollars to companies like Solyndra who went bankrupt. Gave bailouts to big banks but didn't specify how to use it, so they had extravagant conventions and gave themselves huge bonuses with the taxpayer money. Now his latest lie about Libya saying it was a protest that went out of control because of a video-turned out there wasn't even a protest in the area-we were shown a false video of protesters from somewhere else just to make it "look" like it was a protest and not the terrorist attack that it was. The state dept had real time video's showing empty streets before the TERROR ATTACK on the consulate and showed the terrorists climbing the walls to invade the consulate, yet it took 2 weeks to finally admit that it was a terriorist attack. Are you willing to vote for a President who lies to protect his bragging rights that the Taliban is defeated? They are stronger than ever because they know they have a weak leader that they can push around. God help us if he gets re-elected.

Victoria- The deficit was around 1.4 trillion when Obama took office. It's now around 1.2 trillion. That's not doubling the deficit.

McCloud, the green jobs bankruptcy de jour reminds me of a great line from the last debate when Romney tells Obama "...you don't pick winners and losers, you just pick losers"

The only drawback is that this is intentional on Obama's part.

My favorite line from the last debate, was Romney's response to the I've been working in business for 30 years and I've not heard of the tax credit for moving employees overseas, maybe I should talk with my accountant. That one hit Obama beytween the eyes, since he is just a guy full of talking points.

crazy but it's true.

I spy fake numbers, starting with the first one.

"So if we took half of them back to their homeland unemployment goes to 1 to 2 %"

This is so wrong that I don't even know where to begin.

Crowley came out after the debate and admitted that she was wrong and that Romney was correct.

Doesn't change the optics of her interjecting herself into the debate in Obama's defense and even repeating herself (incorrectly. again) by obliging Obama when he asked her to "..can you say that a little louder?"

At that point, the damage was done. Crowley successfully helped Obama out of the Libya part of the debate.

She also interrupted Romney 28 times compared with the 9 times she interrupted Obama.

Crowley's daughter, whom she brought to Obama's announcement ceremony back in 2007, must be proud of her mother for helping out Obama so much.

Walter, which debate were you watching? Even the MSNBC focus group after the debate said that Romney came out the winner.

Sure, you are going to hear sycophants like Andrew Sullivan, Chris Matthews and Roger Simon say that Obama won, but those people have already decided who they are voting for and aren't reaching an audience of people who haven't.

The independents are breaking HARD for Romney. Face it, Walter...it don't look good for your hope and change guy.

The current is estimate is 11.5MM. You have overstated the number by 143%

There is no need to engage in leftist-caliber math to make a point.

"so yes Unemployment would be at 2%"

This assumes all of the unemployed are employable. It assumes that the employer believes that they will add value. You know what they say about assumptions.

If Obama is re-elected, I wonder who he is going to blame for the mess he inherited this time. Just asking!

Wow--some pretty extreme claims, Mr. Rivchin. This is the UNITED States of America. Proposing that the entire country will unravel into chaos based solely on who sits in the Oval Office... WE are America. WE choose the kind of country we live in. And it all starts in your own community. Get out and meet your neighbors. Attend city council meetings. Get involved.

This is a great country, and it survives and flourishes on the strength of US and our actions.

Jason, i'm going to back off of Darren's comments here, but do you know that hundreds of people took to Twitter last night threatening to assassinate Romney, or asking somebody else to do it?

Do you know what the number one reason for them doing so?

They are afraid that Romney is going to cancel their food stamps and EBT cards. Seriously. They are THAT malinformed about the issues.

So, if Romney wins, you can expect to see riots in Chicago, Detroit, Oakland, etc.. You can expect to see some of these same people who threatened Romney on Twitter to burn their own neighborhoods, burn and loot small businesses and you will see mobs of people attacking random citizens of pale skin for no good reason at all.

Obama is not the answer for post partisan racial behavior in our country. MLK, he's not. To the contrary, Obama and Eric Holder have turned this into the MOST racial time in recent history.

Oh, well if Sean Hannity's show says it... When your guy doesn't do well, blame the media!

Whose guy didn't do well?

It sure would be nice to have an unbiased moderator in the last debate. Jim Lehr did a good job because he asked the questions & then got out of the way & let the candidates answer & then called time. The moderator at the vice-presidential debate was horrible. She kept inserting herself into the debate as if this was a three-way debate & not just between two candidates. Crowley got to pick the questions asked last night & there were no hard ball questions that the President might have had just a little trouble responding to, & everytime Romney was making a point, she stepped on him & stopped him from completing his point. The worst was the Libya terrorist attack issue. She bailed Obama out of that mess & of course afterwards said she was wrong. That is just like accusing someone of a major crime on the front page of a newspaper & then burying the correction on page 8 at the bottom in very small print. By the way she owed Romney an apology which he will never receive. No more liberal hacks as moderators.

WHA? Sandra, yes, Democrats control Illinois and have controlled its biggest county for 40 years.

Do you want to have a discussion about the sorry state of our state? It's the most corrupt. It's bankrupt. It is the closest state, financially speaking, to the country of Greece.

Thank you for bringing up this point. Remind me to not ever, ever bring you in for help when debating any issue.

Hahaha. You missed my point completely, no surprise. Even though the Democrats in IL are atrocious, the brain dead Republicans can't unseat them. And once again you prove my point.

Of course I missed the debates. I cannot listen to those creatures.

As for your fake number, I would recommend google.

http://pewresearch.org/pubs/1876/unauthorized-immigrant-population-united-states-national-state-trends-2010

Get used to him, baby, Gallup has Romney pulling away.

"...shallow and self important."

So are you saying that the guy who holds fundraisers with rap stars and Hollywood celebrities, that goes on Entertainment Tonight, David Letterman, The View and the Pimp with a Limp radio show ISN'T shallow and self important?

Have you ever heard the saying about throwing stones in glass houses? That may apply here.

McClown...You make me laugh...and that my fine clown... is not a compliment.

Dan...Yeah...I caught a replay of Romney's interview on that Kelly Ripa show in the mornings...where he told the world he thinks 'Snookie' is great and when asked what actress would best play his wife on the big screen...he said "Gene Hackman". Yeah...he best stay away from t.v. talk shows...LoL...they will only serve to expose the idiot he is...although personally...I think he is doing just fine himself.

"..Does everyone remember the last vice-presidential debate when Al Gore mentioned that he would use a lock box? "

Uh...that was in 2000, not the last VP debate.or the one before that.

Which pretty much coincides with the last time SNL was funny. or relevant.

Uh..bringing up Big Bird wasn't a mistake. He's been able to pound the point home that we should not be subsidizing companies with tax dollars that can make it on their own. The majority of Americans agree with his sentiment.

When you drive downstate there are all those signs that farmers post along the highway. Catchy phrase Gun Right stuff usually. You may have seen them. Many farmers are Republican and pretty conservative. Just for fun, why don't you explore farm subsidies? Republicans will never do away with them, and they are huge! crop insurance? Subsidy provides crop insurance that can even insure a profit. That's a pretty nice entitlement wouldn't you say?

Next year when you drive downstate, the signs with the circle O with the sickle inside will be gone, on second thought perhaps they should stay and remind people of the trillion plus dollar waste from Obama and his stimulus failure.

Maybe I can get one of those signs for my garage, it will be something like the equivalent of an old Billy Beer can.

no argument on that from me, Jason.