Dear Steve,

First of all, I’m sorry about what happened. Losing a job can be one of life’s most stressful events. I hope you are leaning into your family and close friends for encouragement and support.

In talking with job seekers I’ve noticed that many people feel embarrassed about losing their jobs. While I understand this emotion, I’d like you to consider removing this from your thinking immediately. If your embarrassment keeps you from networking, your job search will stall.

Steve, remember that you are in very good company. Hundreds of thousands of talented, dedicated and experienced professionals have lost their jobs in this recession through no fault of their own! Because there has never been such economic turmoil in our working lives, most employers won’t consider your layoff negatively if you deal with it and explain it correctly.  Here’s how to do that:

1. Act out. Appoint a small group of people as your job search board of directors. Choose people who love you, accept you and whom you trust implicitly. Ask these people to listen to you cry, yell, cuss, and whine without judgment and in complete confidentiality.
2. Win an Academy Award. With your board of directors, you can be yourself. With the rest of the world, you become a skilled actor. Your job is to convince people through words and actions that you are positive about your future and looking forward to your next role. 
   
   Make sure everyone knows you hold no anger or resentment. While you may not actually feel this way at first, over time you will definitely feel more optimistic. Why is it important to put on the happy face?
   
   People will hesitate to introduce you to their contacts if they perceive negativity because you’re a reflection of them when they refer you. If an employer smells it, trust me, they’ll move on. Attitude is everything.
3. Write the script. Employers and networking contacts will ask what happened. You have to be ready with a great response, delivered with complete confidence. The goal is to answer the question in 30 seconds or less and move the conversation on to something more positive.
   
   Try saying something like, “My company, just like most companies in the automotive industry, suffered severe profit loss over the last two years. They had to make some difficult decisions about staff and ultimately had to cut 30 percent of payroll costs. Unfortunately, my position was one of those that were eliminated. I left on great terms and have the references to back it up. Now I’m looking forward to joining a company that…"
4. Practice your part. While your response is short and sweet, the emotions behind the words run deep. By practicing, your confidence will increase. Start by practicing with people you know well in case you stumble. I know a man who didn’t script or practice his response and he burst into tears during his first interview when he was asked to explain why he left his last company.
5. Take a bow. Sometimes we say things because we believe them and sometimes we believe things because we say them. In time, your embarrassment will fade and you will successfully and easily explain the situation.  

Good luck, Steve.

Your neighbor and career coach,

Christy